How To Be Relentlessly Forgiving Of Yourself
Let me start by saying: You don’t need to change.
But if you do want to create change in your life, the first step is awareness.
Then comes acceptance and forgiveness.
Gratitude is one of the single most powerful tools for your happiness.
But forgiveness is right there in the neighbourhood too.
Begin to forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for everything.
Sometimes, we look outside ourselves for inspiration for powerful practises and rituals, but the most powerful ones are those that you feel from within and that you need the most at that moment.
A few weeks ago, I woke up in the morning and there was a bit of a strange, almond-sized tension in my being.
I went off to do what I usually do in the morning; drink some warm water, do yoga and meditate.
But after my meditation, I felt I needed something. (HINT: This is how my morning yoga and meditation routine began a few years back — I felt the need for it in my body and I gave it to her).
At this moment, for no particular reason, I felt the need to forgive myself.
You see, I am trying really hard.
I am trying so hard every day to do the right thing and often I use optimism and my relentless way of explaining and rationalising things, people and situations to make them look good no matter what.
I worked very hard for months to dive deep — and I released things in my body and spirit that I didn’t know were there (thanks to successful avoidance over the years!).
And at that moment, what I needed was simple, true, deep, playful forgiveness for myself.
So, I sat down and practised forgiveness for about 10 minutes.
I cried and I laughed and I began to feel so, so, so light as I haven’t in a long time.
I forgave myself for everything. Big, and small, obvious things and meta-levels. Everything I forgave myself for I turned around and I forgave myself for that, too. For example: “I forgive myself for wanting more. I forgive myself for thinking that wanting more is a bad thing.”
I felt so good. So fresh.
I scooped up everything I could think of, everything that bubbled up.
And then some.
And I forgave myself for all of it.
Forgive yourself for everything. And then some more.
Forgive yourself for it all.
The things you did “wrong”, the things you regret doing, the things you regret not doing.
Forgive yourself for the things you did “right” and “well” and forgive yourself for thinking that this is where you find self-worth.
Forgive yourself for the things that are holding you back.
Forgive yourself for wanting more.
Forgive yourself for thinking that wanting more is a bad thing.
Forgive yourself for thinking you need to forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for things you like and dislike and then forgive yourself on a deeper level.
When you forgive every centimetre, every cell, every hair-breadth of yourself, you accept it all.
And acceptance sets you free.
Acceptance allows you to let all this stuff travel through and not attach itself to you and make up your identity.
Open the back of your heart and let it go.
Because your identity is limitless joy.
You can do this anywhere and everywhere.
In the shower, at the end of your meditation, in your favourite chair.
Use this simple sentence root:
“I forgive myself for …”
And repeat it over and over and over again with more things you forgive yourself for.
And notice what happens.
And then do it some more.
You are so beautiful. You are so human and everything you do or don’t do is just right. You are were you are supposed to be. Everything is learning and information.
Never judge yourself.
Forgive yourself for judging yourself.
Forgive yourself for forgiving yourself.
Forgive yourself for feeling like you need to forgive yourself.
Forgive everything.
Just for 10 minutes.
Begin forgiving yourself now so you can move on into a direction you love.
Do it in a way that your heart can hear it.
Don’t just repeat the words with your mouth and vocal cords.
Don’t just let the words echo in your mind.
Feel them in your body.
This is very easy to do.
But it may be very hard to do.
This is part of some pretty deep work.
When you let down your guard and you let this forgiveness land, you will feel it.
Do it with a sense of play, too.
“I forgive myself for eating that bar of chocolate yesterday. And I forgive myself for eating the bar of chocolate I will eat tonight.”
Your undisturbed nature is love and joy.
Bring those along to this practice.
PS. Whenever you’re ready…
If you want to get clearer on your purpose, learn to love yourself, find the courage to step into your vision and make a difference in the world – let’s have a powerful non-binding conversation! I know you are here for a reason and I’d love to support you further. My support looks like this: You talk. You tell me about your dreams and your struggles. I listen. We play. Your life changes.
I’ve seen it time and time again. I’m ready when you are.
PPS. If you loved this blog post, please share the love with a friend you know would benefit from it. Send it to them via WhatsApp, email it to them, text it to them, ... Whatever you've got to do to get this in their hands. ✨
